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“female rigger”
So there’s this thing about rigging-while-female which never really goes away.
I was bottoming in shibari for several months before I started seriously tying. When I did start tying I was so pleased that Hitchin’ Bitches (a group for non-male riggers and their bottoms) was a thing and I could go along and I would be able to tie and I wouldn’t be talked down to by inexperienced but overconfident male riggers*. So I would go to HB and tie and go to my local peer rope and studio and parties and be tied. When I tied I was a “female rigger”. And that was fine.
And then I tied more. I did my first static suspension in early 2016 (a hip harness with an up line). I did my first suspension intensive as a rigger that year. And I kept tying. I’ve travelled internationally to rope festivals, I’ve spent thousands of pounds on intensive workshops by both local and travelling presenters, I’ve done private tuition, I’ve spent more hours than I want to think about tying and labbing and playing around with what I know. (I’ve also given myself a nasty elbow injury by lugging my rope bag across London 2-4 times a week.)
Sometimes people approach me because they want to be tied, or they repost my stuff online, or they anonymously site me as someone who is generally pretty okay at rope. Almost always using the phrase “female rigger”.
I get it to some extent. They mean well. Representation is important, and I’m very visibly female. While the guys usually tie in loose trousers and a t-shirt I’m usually there in a dress/playsuit, lipstick and with my hair in a plait.
Someone I tied recently for the first time turned around to me and said “I’ve been watching you tie for a long time. I don’t understand why you’re not more well-known.”, then followed it up with “oh, wait, you’re a woman”. (She’s a visual artist, and hence too familiar with sexism in the arts.)
By being a “female rigger” I’m very sure that I’m being bucketed very different to (male) “riggers”. It’s harder to be taken seriously. Overconfident beginners still try to correct my rope or interrupt my scene to tell me about something going on with my bottom (I’m now substantially less polite about both of these). Certain international teachers assume that I’m not going to be any good as I’m a woman.
My rope isn’t any different to how a man would tie*. But the distinction between “female rigger” and (male) “rigger” is there. It’s subtle - but it’s there.
(* though statistically my hard point is lower #shortriggerproblems)
I was bottoming in shibari for several months before I started seriously tying. When I did start tying I was so pleased that Hitchin’ Bitches (a group for non-male riggers and their bottoms) was a thing and I could go along and I would be able to tie and I wouldn’t be talked down to by inexperienced but overconfident male riggers*. So I would go to HB and tie and go to my local peer rope and studio and parties and be tied. When I tied I was a “female rigger”. And that was fine.
And then I tied more. I did my first static suspension in early 2016 (a hip harness with an up line). I did my first suspension intensive as a rigger that year. And I kept tying. I’ve travelled internationally to rope festivals, I’ve spent thousands of pounds on intensive workshops by both local and travelling presenters, I’ve done private tuition, I’ve spent more hours than I want to think about tying and labbing and playing around with what I know. (I’ve also given myself a nasty elbow injury by lugging my rope bag across London 2-4 times a week.)
Sometimes people approach me because they want to be tied, or they repost my stuff online, or they anonymously site me as someone who is generally pretty okay at rope. Almost always using the phrase “female rigger”.
I get it to some extent. They mean well. Representation is important, and I’m very visibly female. While the guys usually tie in loose trousers and a t-shirt I’m usually there in a dress/playsuit, lipstick and with my hair in a plait.
Someone I tied recently for the first time turned around to me and said “I’ve been watching you tie for a long time. I don’t understand why you’re not more well-known.”, then followed it up with “oh, wait, you’re a woman”. (She’s a visual artist, and hence too familiar with sexism in the arts.)
By being a “female rigger” I’m very sure that I’m being bucketed very different to (male) “riggers”. It’s harder to be taken seriously. Overconfident beginners still try to correct my rope or interrupt my scene to tell me about something going on with my bottom (I’m now substantially less polite about both of these). Certain international teachers assume that I’m not going to be any good as I’m a woman.
My rope isn’t any different to how a man would tie*. But the distinction between “female rigger” and (male) “rigger” is there. It’s subtle - but it’s there.
(* though statistically my hard point is lower #shortriggerproblems)